surgeon general's warning

What additional indignities must smokers suffer now that the smoking ban has gone into effect? First being driven into the street and now this — drive-by eggings? That's right, folks, eggings, maybe toilet-papering and prank phone calls are next? On Sunday night Nick and I went to witness a little soul shakin' and savin' at The Skylark. We stepped outside to enjoy a bit of smoke-tinged city air with our friends Megan, balanced on crutches, and Luis. As we stood chatting, we heard a clang, then Luis fell over clutching his shoulder, I've been hit!

None of us saw it happen, but it seems someone threw an egg from a car as it sped through the red light. It was amazing, really. The thing didn't shatter until it hit the pavement, and questionably, it ricocheted off a lamp post before hitting Luis. The cruelty! The brutality of breakfast food! Either way, smokers, friends of smokers, loiterers — watch your back and don't stand too close to the curb.