Saturday, July 28, 2007

pocket crosswords of professor snape

I've finally read all 759 pages of J.K. Rowling's latest tome, The Deathly Hallows. And? And, I don't know? Ok, I know enough to give you a spoiler warning, if you're worried about that sort of thing.

I'll sum the whole thing up by, for the last time, comparing it to an episode of Scooby Doo, he surely would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those rascally kids! After days snatching snippets here or there, piecing it all together is proving difficult. There were hundreds of pages written at a lulled pace, making for a leisurely, yet frustrating (so many horocruxes, so few pages) read, all this punctuated by blasts of gripping action.

Personally, I was most s-saddened by the d-deaths of The Boy Who Lived's owl, Hedwig, and the emancipated house-elf, Dobby and didn't understand why that likeable Lupin and his wife, Tonks had to die at all, except to possibly fulfill J.K.'s weird need to create yet another orphan, the baby, Teddy.

On an unrelated note, how much does Hermione, her little, beaded handbag and otter patronus rock? Although her kissing Ron to only have our bespectacled boy wizard remind them they're in battle was a cloying made-for-Hollywood moment; I can already hear the theater audience break into applause and laughter. There were a few too many of those moments.

And on to my favorite, the illusive potions professor/potential turn-coat/spy Severus Snape. I would have been disappointed if The Boy Who Lived was made aware earlier that Snape was indeed Dumbledore's man and the two defeated 'ole Nagini and Voldemort in a heroic show of teamwork, to, in the end, be carried from the Shrieking Shack on the shoulders of joyous wizards. No, that wouldn't have worked. Snape should have died, but in such a lame way? Com'mon. Sure, he wasn't aware of the Deathstick, sure he was caught off-guard by He-Who-Won't-Be-Named-Here's wild accusations, all the while pondering that floaty snake-thing, but to be smacked in the head all unawares? The man was a powerful wizard, not to mention Legilimens — he didn't see that coming?

And, yes, we all suspected The Half-Blood Prince's main motivation being unrequited love for Lily and I'll admit I reluctantly liked parts of the overly-romantic notion, even if a little Wuthering Heights. I'm left wondering if Severus Look...at...me Snape was buried anywhere near Lily, like Heathcliff was Catherine. Mostly I hope the victorious wizards took a minute to at least retrieve his bloody body from that Shrieking Shack in the midst of their jubilance/mourning.

Finally, Harry Potter's youngest son, who alone inherited Lily's eyes, is named Albus Severus and the adult-Harry refers to the Slytherin headmaster as "the bravest man he ever knew," which is something, but what about a portrait in the headmaster's office? Will there be one? A snarky Snape portrait would put ill-tempered Phineas Nigellus' to shame.

The Epilogue? Gag. I understand, saving the world from evil would top anything else on the 'ole resume, but all our heroes have done in the following 19 years is sort of learn to drive a car and a lot of procreating?

Ahhh, so much to say, but one lenghty tome is enough. 'Tis the end, my friends, and indeed, that is all well.

1 comment:

E said...

K I love this summary, esp the Scooby Doo comment. That's awesome. :)